Vikhroli Welcome to Vikram Seth

This audience is most delighted

That Vikram Seth is here today.

This migrating bird's not been sighted

Here before but stumbled in this way.

Of course we mustn't fail to mention

That this event's not by intention.

We'll spare him any inflicted pain

If Bachi happened to complain.

When invited to a LitFest dinner,

By Pheroza, I traipsed downstairs

We stood in the heat, there were few chairs.

The evening proved to be a winner

As Sudha, Vikram and I conversed

But in literature we weren't immersed.

 

Sudha of course was so inclined

But Vikram's interests are so wide

That though for literature she pined

A theorem's proof was supplied.

Now Maths makes Vikram quite excited

And hearing this I swiftly cited

"Maths for Poets", so apropos!

Now little did dear Sudha know

That Platonic Solids would be discussed.

But Vikram mentioned there were just five.

That's when I challenged him to strive

For proof. Sudha must have cussed!

But I of course just thanked Fate

That I had met a true soulmate.

 

Vikram desired another meeting.

He wished to get to know Bombay.

He had all his friends competing,

Each one on a different day,

Exposing some unusual facet.

So what could be my special asset?

Now trudging in the heat was spurned

And so my mind busily churned.

And in a stroke of easy brilliance

It struck me that my Bombay's nub

Could be a trip to every club.

That wouldn't stress my frail resilience!

And Vikram quickly scooped the ball

And dubbed the trip, what else, "Club Crawl!"

 

Now Rati joined the expedition

But found the Club Crawl rather tame

And so we modified the mission.

For minor changes, I was game.

Bombay was still a steamy oven.

I nixed Dhobi Ghat but not Mani Bhuvan

Which Vikram thought was very cool.

While walking past Breach Candy's pool,

Our poetic star was recognised

By a fascinated fan.

Her Master's was about our man.

All three of us were so surprised!

We watched the sunset with a drink

The Club speciality, rather pink,

 

Bacardi splashed in Pomegranate

A fruit resembling a grenade.

These days, who knows, someone might ban it.

Explosive cocktails can be an aid

To creative thought and thus inspired,

At Willingdon Club he enquired

If they could claim a special drink.

None was proffered but I do think,

When Narial Pani got a mention,

Vikram rocketed up and away.

Bacardi again was brought in play

And that dear friends was the invention

Of Dabardi, Vikram's portmanteau name.

We both enjoyed this cocktail game.

 

While on the lawn we had Bhelpuri

What food could be more Bombay?

We topped it up with Akuri.

Then toured the club and on the way

The portraits of the Willingdons stared

Condescendingly and so we shared

An incident from long ago,

That all of us appeared to know,

Of Lady Willingdon and Jinnah's Ruttie:

Lady Willingdon offered a wrap

But Jinnah wouldn't accept such crap.

Deep décolleté doesn't make one slutty.

And so the response was very bold

"My wife will decide if she is cold."

 

I donned an imaginary bonnet

To discover my feminine side.

And ensure a Pushkin sonnet

Although I'm known to occasionally slide

Into a sonn, Vikram's appellation

For my strange masculine deviation.

And I'm delighted that we could grab

Vikram for Godrej Culture Lab.

Let's call him for a Friday Funda

Where the audience is open and large

With impresario Parmesh in charge.

Before Vikram begins to wonder

Whether this will go on much more,

I'll graciously concede the floor.